Valerie & Doug’s Story
We sought the help of an infertility specialist in early 2005 and shortly after, at his recommendation Valarie was treated for Endometriosis. Our doctor told us that each unassisted attempt at pregnancy after that had a single digit chance of success at our age and suggested that we try Inter Uterine Insemination (IUI). We made several unsuccessful attempts at getting pregnant through IUI all of which takes you on an emotional rollercoaster ride of hope and disappointment.
Our next option was In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Toward the end of these trials the Doctor looked at Valarie and said, Everything looks good except egg quality, and we can’t do anything about that. .That’s when it really set in just how hopeless the situation was. We were incredibly sad. Our lack of success weighed heavy on both of us, but more so on Valarie.
We first heard about Embryo Adoption from our fertility doctor. Valerie found some information about it on the internet on an adoption website. As we learned more about Embryo Adoption it looked like a good option for us.
Naturally we had several concerns: We were concerned that the child would not look like us because we would have to choose between a Caucasian and Asian baby. That was overcome when we contacted our agency and found out that they had several mixed race couples who had donated embryos. We were concerned that we would not love the child like we would our own. That was overcome by talking to other couples who had adopted. We were concerned about the rights of the biological parents. That was overcome by learning that there were no rights and no direct contact was necessary if we chose only contact through the agency. We were concerned that we might be buying a baby and encouraging others to make more embryos just to make a profit. That was overcome when we learned that the donating couple does not make any money at all.
In January 2008 we made the decision to adopt the embryos of two Asian/Caucasian families. We had a positive pregnancy test two weeks later. Valarie was very excited but I was holding my breath the whole time not allowing myself to get excited because I didn’t want to be disappointed. I was praying not to lose the babies. I was afraid of how Valarie would react if we lost them after going through all of this and getting this close to a successful pregnancy. I can’t explain the feeling I had when we went for the 5 week ultrasound and saw a heartbeat.
I can’t explain the feeling I had when we went for the 5 week ultrasound and saw a heartbeat.
It will be very difficult to encourage responsibility in the IVF arena, but we can make a difference by adopting the leftover embryos that are suspended in time just waiting to be given a chance to experience life. I can’t tell you the joy and satisfaction I feel from becoming a parent in this way and I encourage you to consider taking the same path to parenthood.